When did this happen?

"How old are you?"
"17."
"Oh, really? I thought you were, like, my age."
"Oh, how old are you?"
"14."

I hate my life.

t.

First stop

I can't wait.

t.

Heat wave

My phone tells me it's 32ºC, but it feels like 40ºC. With that, Kurt and I haven't left my bed. It's 2:34pm. We'll wait around until my blue car rescue comes along. Have a nice (hopefully cool) day!

t.

Today

I'm doing a fantastic job of saving money for my trip, so I thought I'd treat myself to my very first long summer dress. How bohemian of me! This was taken in a Walmart change room, and you can't see them, but they have bars placed over the top of every cubicle so you're practically caged in. I couldn't help but laugh, while I imagined somebody trying to leap over. Nuh-uh, Walmart doesn't fuck around.

t.

Uhm

Ok ya, I guess you could say I'm a little peeved. My evening did not turn out as planned, but I suppose rolling with the punches is the only way. Where is the option for punching back? Did I miss that turn? I walked home and blew off some steam, with the help of some sour candy on the way. I swear I was so provoked, my usual fears of every pedestrian being a rapist were non-existent. I could have taken them on if they were, I'm sure.

t.

Summer break

Minus the break. My summer will be filled with Charles Dickens, Shakespeare, Henrik Ibsen, and magic realism. There's poetry annotations to be done, five chapters of data to be self-taught, and a World History paper to be written under the shadow of the Eiffel Tower. There will be readings and assignments to be completed on Louis XIV of France, prior to the visit I'll be making to his home in Versailles. Two World Literature papers must be completed, reviewed, emailed, printed, and shipped to a type of headquarters tucked neatly away somewhere in Europe. Take a breath. This is hardly a break.

t.

Vs.

You say things are insignificantly in the past and forgotten now, but it still appears as if you expect something from me. Like I owe you something still. I'm by myself in this, and I don't know what to do. But I know what I want to do.



t.

Farewell

It's 9:41 AM, and I can hear the rain trickling outside my window while my fluffy duvet keeps me cozy. I don't want to go to school, but I should, but it's so nice right now. I haven't felt this in a little while, but I think I could stay here forever. I'll be accepting visitors and cuddles.

t.

Wait

I'll be saving my money, but there will always be room for more performances.





t.

Go away, nevermind come here.

This is the last week of school, and I am always tired. Always fatigued, over and under the borderline of z's. A bug just landed on my laptop and scared the hell out of me. In other news, I'm proud of myself. I got a call from the bank, and my card was compromised and canceled. I was instructed to get a new one, but I'm not going to. It's just a temptation, and besides, I really need to save up for my trip. I'm ranting right now more than usual, but maybe I'm a bit more tired than usual. Just make it through this last week, this summer of debt, this trip, this high school career, and then? Hopefully, the best kind of trips and mornings and nights and just that kind of love. Goodnight (but, not really).



t.

Oh

SUP PRAM.
I hate high school.

t.

Beep beep beep

What to try and process next.

t.

Things shift so quickly.

Ok, not so bad

Lindsey is the worst liar. She claimed she left her camera in her garden house, which was actually full of balloons and sushi and the best people ever. Follow closely by the most 'me' gifts I could ever ask for! Quite possibly one of the best surprises. A little while after the icing was cleaned off of my face, we grabbed some knives and stabbed the hell out of every balloon. Thank you, thank you. You 3 are the best.

t.

PS:

This is probably why I am so bitter about my birthday. Warm weather can be so unfair and irresistible at the same time; you can't help but bury your nose in the spring air when it should have never left the books. I'm so fucking tired.

t.

Next

Birthdays can fall on weird days, sometimes. I feel as if mine came at the wrong time, but I guess there's no choice but to embrace a thing like that. I'm just happy to gain the year, 17 had better be a good one. Cheers.

t.

Also

The foursome went adventuring today, again. Photos courtesy of the lovely Lindsey, of course. (Check her out!) We walked through foam bug infested grass and I got a mosquito in my eye which I didn't retrieve until I got home (ew). Given the chance, I probably wouldn't trade it for anything! I love days like these.

t.

June

Happy birthday to Marilyn today, happy birthday to me tomorrow. All I want are kisses and a clean room.

t.

sssssssss

You make me so angry sometimes I shake.
Sometimes I shake you make me so angry.
So angry sometimes I shake you make me.
Make me so angry sometimes I shake you.

t.

Spark

Remember this? How could I not. I've decided that it's been too long since I wrote something, and this memory box is getting full. I could make sense of this mess of letters and tickets and moments and pivotal keepsakes that remind me of how quickly things can change. A project with it's completion encouraged by the sun.



t.

Heat

One thing I didn't miss about summer was my air conditioner's precarious tendencies. Breaking down at inconvenient times, making the bed sheets stick to my skin like silk.

t.

Strawberry Fruitopia

The mocking vibration of your text messages, and the I-shouldn't-have-said-that's. Raccoons plotting in bushes, and accidentally running over squirrels. Let's just drive around and listen to music.

Lucky

"I need a friend today."
"I'm picking you up now."

t.

Coughing fits 'til I puke

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Shit happens."

"Well, you're a wonderful pers--"

"Please don't do that."

t.

Waking Life

"Hey. Could we do that again? I know we haven't met, but I don't want to be an ant. You know? I mean, it's like we go through life with our antennas bouncing off one another, continously on ant autopilot, with nothing really human required of us. Stop. Go. Walk here. Drive there. All action basically for survival. All communication simply to keep this ant colony buzzing along in an efficient, polite manner. "Here's your change." "Paper or plastic?' "Credit or debit?" "You want ketchup with that?" I don't want a straw. I want real human moments. I want to see you. I want you to see me. I don't want to give that up. I don't want to be ant, you know?"

So

This tight foursome that has manifested itself blows my mind. I've been spending most of my time with Lindsey, JP and Mary, one at a time or all at once. Naturally always drunk with the first two. The shedding process of everything I don't want to think about can begin, ok.

t.

Hellothere.

Yes, I'm doing this. Again.
Tumblr just wasn't personal enough, so with that, welcome back to my business.

t.